There's No Place Like Home

About 18-months ago, I took an unintentional hiatus from writing Delightfully Dishy. Life was busy, and I was in the process of taking both inventory and a hard look at where I was in my life -- and where I wanted to go.

Since then, I left my career in Corporate America to go out on my own in business. We made the decision to relocate back to Arizona after nearly 8-years of living in Brooklyn, I turned forty, and in the last few months, I finally took the leap and ventured into real estate -- something I wanted to do for nearly 20-years.

There was a point about 9-months ago, when it was as though my mind had come to the end of a very long road lined with millions of questions. I was done. I went into the silence. And for those who know me well, that is not a place I have always enjoyed. It was eerily quiet, and I found myself spending hours in it. I sincerely didn't know what the next step in my journey was, but more importantly, I had the confidence to say that. I explored the idea of being a housewife and stay-at-home mom. I explored returning to the safety and comfort of Corporate America. I considered it all, frankly ... and what kept coming up for me was, "Just be still. In time, you will know."

It's true. Over time, I knew.

Sometimes we spend so much of our lives going to the complete opposite end of where we started. Goodness knows I sure have! When I sat in those endless hours of contemplation and prayer, it became clear that what I have always wanted was not far from where I started. Yet somehow, my personality needed to explore all options in the meantime, perhaps as a way of proving a point to myself and to others that I had "thought it all through."

I knew when I felt zero need to explain it or justify it, that I had evolved into my next chapter. And, yes, it really was that simple. For all of the tears, questions, and unsettledness that had to be worked through in the process, when I kept true to not needing to have all the answers, I kept putting one foot in front of the other. And step by step, day by day, it became clear.

Had I stopped and waited until I had everything "figured out," I'd still be waiting. It's a trap, friends. We have to move, live, walk, journey -- sitting and waiting is how decades go by with our lives feeling unfulfilled. The flow of the journey brings us life. When in doubt, live. Questions are important, don't get me wrong, but waiting for something or someone before making a choice to live is a slippery slope. I can't help but quote Rilke - a quote that has been one of those golden nuggets of wisdom, especially in these last several months:

"I beg you ... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them, and the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even knowing it, live your way into the answer ..." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Let us live our way unapologetically. The answers will - and do - come.

Ticket to Ride

If you're looking to infuse more amazing energy in your life and work, I urge you to pickup The Energy Bus. In this international bestseller, Jon Gordon teaches us ten secrets to "fuel your life, work, and team with positive energy." I can promise you this: you will walk away with more than you can imagine. The best part? You can include children in the process by having them read The Energy Bus for Kids, helping them embrace the concept of being responsible for the energy every single one of us brings to the table. 

Seriously, Ladies?

In middle school, I was BFF’s with one of the popular girls starting in fifth grade, but by the time we got our periods, discovered boys, and started to have different interests, she emerged as a mean girl, and I was arbitrarily outcast. Simply put: I didn't make the cut. There was no room for me to be different and continue to exist in that circle. Joining an entirely new lunch table was nothing short of terrifying, and I was grateful to make new friends, helping ease that pit that lived in my gut every day as I left for school. 

I am amazed at how decades later, nothing has really changed. Put a group of women together, and the minute someone stands out as "different," she is bound to come out hurt, judged, ridiculed, picked on, ganged up on, talked about, teased, or scrutinized. Rarely do you find a group of women in complete and genuine support of one another. How sad is that?

When there are multiple women standing on the same landing, sharing similar aspirations, desires and ideals, there is this incredible sense of community and empowerment. But when one person shifts and takes a step in a different direction, quite possibly perceived as "ahead," look out. 

Seriously, ladies ... why does everything between us turn into such a competition? 

Although it is never easy to acknowledge - let alone admit - we have all been there. We've seen another woman move forward in an area of her life, and instead of applauding her, we find ourselves saddled with negative feelings. The truth is, those feelings are nothing more than an outward expression of our own insecurities.

When we put our cards out on the table, those insecurities stem from key, universal topics: body image, career, education, children, financial status, relationships, etc. Depending on where we stand with each topic - "Am I a success or failure at this; good or bad; worthy or unworthy?" - oftentimes determines how we treat the other women who come across our path.

Not only am I disheartened by this, but also exhausted from it. Nowhere in the rule book does it say that being mean, rude, snarky, smug, spiteful, arrogant, and/or critical are necessary when we watch someone achieve a goal, implement a change, or try something different. 

On the flip side, we must also remove from our thinking the idea that when we decide to make a different choice, act a different way, or explore a different direction, we have the right to flaunt it and shame those who aren't there yet. After all, the need to broadcast anything on our own accord is merely a cry for attention and validation. If the actions we take are motivated by proving something to ourselves, or to someone else, we are still functioning from a place of insecurity and unworthiness. That, too, will drive people away. 

Lesson learned: when humility and compassion are removed from either side of the "different" equation, people get hurt, and relationships suffer. 

What would the landscape look like if we chose to foster the good in each other, to validate each other’s worth, to acknowledge each other’s struggles, and to embrace each other's changes and differences? There is, in fact, room in this world for each of us. Let’s celebrate that fact! No matter where we are on our path, let's sit side-by-side and share a very important universal truth: we are in this together - maybe not on the same time schedule or with the same result - but in it together nonetheless. 

xx JN

Time Traveler

Since the last time I was here, I traveled to China and back, my girl transitioned from 3rd to 4th grade, Spring left, Summer arrived, DOMA was struck down, and Mr. Newman & I are experiencing a week of almost odd quiet as our girl went to sleep away camp for the first time.

What continues to go through my mind are those infamous sayings such as:

"Time flies when you're having fun!"

"There's a first time for everything."

Lyla's very first Broadway show

"Time stood still."

 "Summertime, and the livin' is easy"

"Time can't move fast enough!"

"It's about time!"

And ...  time after time, I sure love being right here with you! It's wonderful to be back from spring hiatus, and boy do I love that summer is in full-swing! How have you been spending your time?

xx JN

Spring Hiatus

As Spring continues to try and make its appearance here in New York, I continue to try and do the same right here! I must admit I have been far too in the moment to stop and write in these last couple of weeks, but encourage you to also follow my train(s) of thought over on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Above are some photos documenting what I've been up to as of late. Even though we're still grabbing a cardigan before we walk out the door in the morning, Summer is rapidly approaching, isn't it?!

I will be leaving in the coming days for a two-week adventure in China, visiting Shanghai & Beijing during my stay. I cannot wait to explore these ancient cities, climb the Great Wall, tour the Water Villages, hunt for silks, buy pearls and devour some of Shanghai's infamous vintage shops.

Until my return, I wish you the loveliest of Spring-filled days, delicious Memorial Day barbeques with your favorite people, and oodles and oodles of plentiful sunshine: both literally and figuratively!

xox JN

Photos, top to bottom: Tulips in Park Slope / Blooms at Bloomingdale's / A cheery walk through Washington Square Park / The most delicious macarons from bisousciao / Great Gatsby windows at Brooks Brothers / a Saturday afternoon stroll by Bergdorf's / My new Clarisonic Mia 2 - please tell me you're getting one! / My go-to summer handbag (the E/W Willis) from Coach / post-Devachan magic after seeing my girl, Nevilla / The easiest (and uber-delicious) dinner you must make tonight / An afternoon with my favorite girl / BFF's / Devachan magic for my mini-me / Jasmine tea at Jing Fong in Chinatown

Tea Time!

I make no secret about the fact that I drink green tea daily. Yes, daily. Always a huge fan of iced tea, I upped the ante to the green persuasion when I started eating sushi (way) back in my (early) 20's. A ceremonious cup of hot green tea came at the start of every meal, and I grew deeply fond of its flavor and health benefits.

When Brooklyn's first outpost of the Canadian tea retailer, DAVIDsTEA, arrived here in Park Slope, stylist Amy was first to embrace the goodness (lucky lady, it's literally right out her front door). The next thing I know, I receive the following:

So last weekend, while prepping breakfast for her family, I was tickled to get this text message: 

Did I love it? Oh, yes. 

So much so that a stop at DAVIDsTEA was first on the to-do list over the weekend!

The team at DAVIDsTEA gives customer service on par to the deliciousness of their beverages - in other words, they are flawless. The lovely Stephanie took me on the grand tour, first off making my iced matcha with soy & agave:

As I sipped away, Stephanie treated us to a lovely tea overview, complete with tastings and the delight of smelling many of the store's offerings. With flavors ranging from Citron Oolong to Birthday Cake, and Rooibos de Provence to Pink Flamingo, there was not one tea I wasn't ready to try! Even the Little Miss - who has never given tea a thought - could not wait to try her iced Forever Nuts:

Because Mr. Newman's iced Coffee Pu'erh was so unbelievably delicious, we came home with the following treats to get our mornings off right:

The Steeper, David's Perfect Spoon & Coffee Pu'erh

PS, don't worry. DAVIDsTEA makes online ordering a breeze if there's not a retailer near you. Since I do not want any one of you lovelies to feel left out, I decided that this is going to be one of yours. That's right - it's giveaway time!

Please note: the giveaway is now closed. Congratulations to "twicefivemiles" - you are the lucky winner! xx JN

Here's the deal:

1. Go over and "like" Delightfully Dishy's Facebook page (if you're already a "Fan" then share the post on your Facebook wall!)
2. Leave a comment below telling me the DAVIDsTEA flavor you're most intrigued to try.

The lucky winner (chosen at random) will be announced this Thursday!

Why, yes, I'll drink to that!

xx JN

DAVIDsTEA Park Slope: 234 7th Ave at 4th St
Follow DAVIDsTEA on Twitter & "like" them on Facebook!

One of Those Weeks

Do you ever just have "one of those weeks?"

A considerable amount of time was spent up in my head this week as I continued to mull over such ever-popular questions as, "How? When? Where? and Why?" I have a fairly straight-forward "to-do" list running at the moment, but the Virgo in me is not pleased with how slowly it's being completed. Sometimes (i.e. lately), I get so completely frustrated knowing that I have many irons in the fire, projects I cannot wait to make public, yet at the moment I am faced with variables - necessary to see those projects to fruition - that are completely outside of my control. How do you respond to those moments? I must admit I've been kicking up dirt this week!

But, in the meanwhile ...

• Mr. Newman got a pair of these as an early birthday gift this week, and looks absolutely unreal when he sports them!
• LG was especially grateful for her new Hunter Boots this morning as it rained cats & dogs during the morning commute.
• These gems are my snack of the week - especially with a slather of this on top ... delicious!
• I'm hosting a breakfast tomorrow morning, and sure hope our guests enjoy this recipe which is one of several treats on the menu.
• Sunday, we're taking a road trip to check out sleep away camp for LG ... yep, the time has come!

Here's to a wonderful weekend!

xx JN

Well-Feathered Nest

I did not fully appreciate that sentiment until I had a family of three + a pooch in a quaint, 2-br apartment in New York City! With a tendency to be fairly anal retentive about my personal living space (alright, completely), I am always evaluating and re-evaluating what stays in and what goes out.

Spring is here - for me, the moment I can open the windows again means it's time to clean every nook and cranny of our apartment! With four distinct seasons and limited closet space, I automatically do the wardrobe switcharoo at then end of every winter and summer.  But there are also a few other things that happen as well:

Clean Those Windows

Yes, this means I pull a proverbial Spiderman and hoist myself out the window and onto the fire escape with a bucket of 1-part vinegar to 2-parts hot water, a sponge, and paper towels. The screens come off and are scrubbed down in the shower (yes, a full bath/shower scrubdown commences afterwards!) and the windows look divine when they are done.

Bring it to the Floor

Sorry, kids, but unless you mop every single week, your floors will need some extra TLC a couple of times a year! I take the opportunity to scour the floors, the grout and and wipe down the baseboards, too!

• Hardwood & Ceramic Tile: Murphy's Oil Soap will leave a gorgeous shine without a sticky residue. It really does do a beautiful job on both hardwood and faux wood flooring as well as tile.
• Grout: make a paste of water + Ajax, get a heavy duty scrub brush and a toothbrush and work in sections. You don't want the paste to dry, so after you've scrubbed the grout back to life, take a wet sponge and rinse the area. This combo works far better than any grout cleaner I've used, and it has serious staying power. You'll find that doing this once a year (barring a major disaster involving red wine or marinara sauce) will keep your grout clean and bright. Your biceps will enjoy the process as well as your quads from all of the up and down!
• Baseboards: If you haven't already vacuumed them, you can also take a dryer sheet and wipe them along the edge where the baseboard meets the wall. You'll be amazed how much better they look after this process! 

The Fridge

Take the time to go through your fridge and purge those mysterious leftovers, expired pickles and anything else that you can't recognize! I like to remove the shelves and the drawers and give them a good scrubbing. It always amazes me what a difference it makes. Also, use this time to replace your water filters and baking soda, too!

Flip the Mattress

If you're like me and you're changing outer linens seasonally, it's a great time to flip the mattress after the good ol' linen strip down! It's also a good time to vacuum up at the headboard where you usually can't get to ... you will more than likely find that spring has sprung with more than a fair share of dust bunnies!

Shake it Out, Baby

Now's the time to take down the curtains and fluff up the rugs by shaking everything out, as well as a good time to either wash or replace your outer shower curtain and liner. If you're windows are curtain-free, dust those blinds!

Virtually Speaking

In this day and age, it's probable that what we lack in actual closet space we make up for in virtual memory! 

• Go through your Contact List.
• Clean off space on your iPhone or other device by removing unused apps and extraneous photos. Create new playlists.
• Organize your Inbox.
• Clean up your Desktop.
• Purge the DVR.

Spot Clean

Now's the time to pick up a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and spot clean the walls for scuff marks as you go along. You'll love how much better the walls look!

Filter This

After all that dusting, cleaning, scrubbing, purging, fluffing and organizing, don't forget to change your air filters! Nothing like having a dust-free home until the air kicks on! This is also the time to change your filters on your humidifiers and air purifiers, too. 

Have your own tips you'd like to share? Make sure to comment below!

xx JN

Spring Forward

Call it Daylight Savings Time, or the fact that open toed shoes are just around the corner, but if ever there was a time I find myself deep in thought over change and renewal, it's at the beginning of Spring.

As of late, I have come to realize that often times the people around us don't like it when the word (or the act of) change enters the equation. Quite possibly because for many, people equate change with a negative idea: abandonment, ridicule, moving on, leaving, isolation, frustration, etc.

When Spring is blooming in the air, though, change is seemingly viewed in a positive light: evolution, growth, blossoming, newness, freshness, wonderment ...

So how is it we are ready to run through the streets with joy when the buds appear on the trees, but when the people in our lives are changing, we want to assume the worst? And furthermore, even mock, ridicule, or even step away from them?

This has happened to me recently, albeit in subtle ways, with some people in my life. I am now at a point where I can step away from it and acknowledge that it isn't personal, but it can still be tricky to navigate. It's easy to fall back in to old tape with people who have known us the longest. And it's equally easy to respond by pointing the finger out of frustration.

What if - when those moments happen - when those we love are trying to keep us in the same place - we actually respond differently?

For me, it has been a huge impetus for changes in dynamics over the course of the last year. I remember rattling on about how frustrated I was over a certain situation with a recurring pattern of behavior - and how "no matter what I do, it just always comes down to the same reaction."

That was when the question was posed back to me, "Well, how would they respond if you didn't respond the way you always have? What would that look like?"

Giving a situation or a relationship a new response comes from a place of love and respect - not only for the other side, but for ourselves. If you're feeling like you're stuck in a pattern and not sure what to do next, stop for a moment and think about how you can react or respond in a new, fresh way. In as much as we are sometimes able to "predict" what someone else is going to do or say, the same goes in reverse. I will admit it may not always be easy - and yes, the unknown of what the new reaction or response may feel scary - but it's worth it.

We have to allow those around us to rise to the occasion and exceed our expectations. When we do not, we are literally stopping the hopes of any evolution within the relationship - quite possibly because at the root of it, we are equally afraid of losing control of the reaction (remember, most people find change as a negative). Expecting perfection is one thing - I'm talking about an expectation that when we enter a situation with the best of intentions - and respond accordingly - the dynamics can change.

It's a lovely, wonderful surprise to see any relationship evolve past the status quo. In fact, dare I say, it is powerful beyond measure. Yes, it is quite possible for someone else to "get it" before we do! If that weren't the case, what's the point of learning from each other? Aren't we all striving to learn the same fundamental life lessons? But as I tell my 8-1/2 year old every day when she's frustrated at her division problems, we all learn things on a different time table.

When you look back over the course of your life thus far, what has spoken to you more: people who have supported you through the process of change, or people who have judged you?

Which person are you going to be?

xx JN