'Til We Reach That Day

My Aunties

My Aunt Jeannine came out to me while we were sunbathing together at a hotel pool while on a family reunion trip in Chicago. It was the first time I heard from her mouth how she survived her breakup from the woman I had known my entire life thus far as "Aunt Cathy," stories about her few years being single again, and about her new girlfriend, Rosalia.

That was 19-years ago, and my Aunties (as they are affectionately called) have been together ever since. I couldn't have been prouder to stand witness to their commitment ceremony in the mid-90's - it was a gorgeous October day in Phoenix, and these two remarkable women were united in front of an unbelievably supportive group of friends & family.

But what was not in attendance was a marriage license. And to this day, there is still no marriage license. How is it even possible? These women have been together longer than most heterosexual couples.

My Aunties stood up for Mr. Newman & I when we exchanged vows in 2000. They were in the delivery room when our daughter was born. With us when we bought our first house. And built our second one. They are Godmothers to our girl.

Lyla's First Christmas, 2004

Today and tomorrow, same-sex marriage will be brought before the Supreme Court in two cases: a constitutional challenge to California's Prop 8, and the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). My prayer, along with millions of others, is that the Court will deem that as a nation, moving forward, all are to be treated as equally as we are created. 

I look at the courage my Aunties have had over the course of their adult lives being openly gay. Their bravery paved the way for my generation. My friends were able to have the courage to come out earlier than the majority of the generation who preceded them.

I think about the tireless efforts of my friends at Marriage Equality New York, for example, who fought every minute of every day to get marriage equality passed here in New York, and once that extraordinary day happened in 2011, they moved on to other states throughout our nation and have seen further victory since. I am honored to have worked with them.

Performing the National Anthem, MENY Marriage March, 2010

Their efforts paved the way so that my best friend Amy could marry her now wife, Lauren - even though at that time in 2011, they had to cross the border from our great state of New York to Connecticut to become legally joined together.

Lyla's First Wedding, Marriage of Amy & Lauren, 2011

But then, in 2012, the third member of our trio, Andrew, could marry his now husband, Mark, right here in New York.

Marriage of Andrew & Mark, 2012

 

As I said on Twitter this morning, "Praying that all are heard, seen and respected as equals, marriage is for all, and equality is ruled as the truth of our land."

And until that day comes, I continue to stand as an advocate for equality. I count it as a privilege and an honor to fight for those who do not have the same rights as Mr. Newman & I do: our friends. Our family. Our brothers & sisters. Our country.

We will reach that day! 

xx JN

Muppet Pride

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Over the course of the last several days, Chick-Fil-A has made quite a name for themselves. Set aside their reputation for delicious waffle fries and chicken sandwiches, they have a new reputation: as an anti-gay organization.

I find it ironic they serve chicken, because the Chick-Fil-A organization is certainly acting like their feathered friends. Along with Dan Cathy's words are the company's donations to Exodus International and the Family Research Council - organizations that are rooted in fear, bigotry and hate - all under the guise of words like, "Bible," "Jesus," "freedom," "faith," "family," etc.

Since Dan Cathy's statement, a social media storm broke out against the 6-day-a-week-fast-food-chain. The line has been drawn in the sand, and there are now two distinct camps.

I stand with the Muppets.

Of all the political, philosophical and religious debates that are forever going on in our world today, there is one I will engage in time after time, and that is the debate over civil rights as Americans, as citizens of the world. Citizens who have been given the God-given right of a free will to live their personal truth and consequently make choices that work best for themselves.

The Muppets have (brilliantly) taught us that it's not easy being green. They sing about the Rainbow Connection among us, a Pig is madly in love with a Frog, teamwork is key, sometimes you have to travel the world and back to help your friends. You don't stand at a podium and tell people they're wrong, they're despicable, and that they are the antithesis of everything God created.

If you strip us all of the cloak of religion, what's left underneath? Aren't we all a huge human family, each with our own unique set of fingerprints? Didn't we all come to life after living inside a womb? How are we to just "do" and "be" when we came in to this world so unique that even the mere marks on our hands will never again be replicated? I'm thinking that uniqueness is really worth fighting for and keeping alive.

If we're boiling this down to basic fundamental, human and civil rights, isn't it possible that Frogs and Pigs and Bears and Dogs and Martians all celebrate their uniqueness? There is love in that difference. And certainly, if two people know that the love between them is worth committing their lives over, then in this free country, let it be.

This idea that humans know exactly what God is thinking and saying and "dictating" - let alone take it upon themselves to legislate - seems a bit presumptuous. If we let love in, the world is a better place. And if we try to contain it to a certain group of people, what about the rest of our brothers & sisters? For all the talk about the afterlife - for all the talk about heaven and hell, none of us have been there yet, have we? So if you're going to stand at a podium and mandate that this must happen or else ... aren't you counting your chickens before they hatch? So to speak ...

Stop the bullying. Stop the hate. Let the love in. It may surprise you how much more in common we all have when that is the fundamental glue that binds us together. The "us" versus "them" mentality is only going to do one thing: keep us segregated, divided, and against each other.

So far the movies I've seen where everyone is divided don't end up with a Rainbow Connection ...

xx JN

I Love a Parade!

Every June, Brooklyn Pride's annual parade passes directly by our apartment. As Team Newman stands proudly as straight allies for the LGBT community, we are always sure to represent during the parade. I knew this certain 60's caftan was just perfect for the occasion, and it even received a great deal of praise from one of the Festival's hosts!

 

Outfit: Vintage 60's floral patterned caftan from Vice Versa / Scarf: personal collection / Earrings: Calypso by Julie Collection / Shoes: thrifted

Styled by: Amy Keller

Looking for ways to show your Pride?

Protect our Youth | Support Marriage | Embrace Equality

My Response to Amendment One

Our daughter loves weddings: the attire, the formality, the exchanging of vows, the magic ... the love.

She just received her second wedding invitation for this coming August, and is already planning her wardrobe, her dance moves, the logistics. Trust me when I say, our girl holds weddings in the highest esteem.

The first wedding she attended was a gay wedding.

And so will her second.

Yesterday, certain citizens of North Carolina showed the nation that what is "popular" is to legislate against those who are different in a hateful, destructive way. It directly effects two of my friends who live in the state. And I'm deeply saddened and outraged for them.

I also cannot help but think of the children of North Carolina - the children who have just heard that the only "right" way to be committed is "boy + girl." That's not the "majority," my friends. So how will Amendment One change their lives?

What does it say to the bigoted bullies - both young and old? Does it not send the message, "It's okay to hate because the law is behind my thoughts and actions?"

And what about the adults who have lived in silence - who thought, "If this Amendment doesn't pass, I will finally feel like I can tell the truth about who I am." What are they thinking this morning?

For those who voted in favor of the Amendment - especially those who cited religious reasons as the foundation for your choice - I ask you: why?

If you ascribe to the notion that not only is God love, but also that we are created in the likeness of God, does that not mean everyone? Not just you. Not just those at your church. Not just those who think and believe just as you do. But everyone.

Did you take a moment to consider that if there was a war in this country trying to take away your religious rights - your freedoms - the faith that you hold as the very truth of your soul - how that would make you feel? Your choices at the polls yesterday waged a war against the truth, rights and freedoms of those different than you. Sorry, but if that is "popular," then count me an outcast.

To my friends and family who are proud members of the LGBT community, I am your ally. I believe in you. I honor your personal truth. When given the chance, my vote is in your favor. Not just at the polls, but in every fiber of my being.

Prop 8 was overturned. Amendment One will be next. Just remember, you're not alone. You have the attention of the entire globe, and millions of us are outraged on your behalf. Do not accept this as a means of being marginalized. We know this is not the end answer. And we also know that you are asking to love and be loved with the equal rights you deserve. It may take more time, but together, we shall overcome.

xx JN

Join the movement:
Freedom to Marry
Human Rights Campaign
Marriage Equality USA
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

12-Days of Gratitude: Day 2

 

Spirit Day

I hope you are wearing purple today as we visually show our support of our LGBT youth. Reminding them that they are loved. They are wanted. They are beautiful. They are truth.

They have a bodyguard in me.

Take a moment today to show your spirit.

xo JN

Beaming with Pride!

Marriage Equality became a reality here in New York on Friday night. As an avid, passionate advocate & straight-ally for the LGBT community, I was overcome with Pride that we became the sixth state to embrace marriage for all.

As my hubby & I prepare for celebrating this victory with very special friends, I thought this picture-perfect Rainbow Cake might be the winner! (via Martha Stewart & Whisk Kid)

Marriage Equality still has 44 states to go. Interested in learning how you can help make it a reality in your state? Start here.